i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
