i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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