Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
