my mouth tastes like poor choices
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
