Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
