i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
