Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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