She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
