i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
