Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
there's paper in my vomit.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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