4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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