I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
