ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
