I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
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I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
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OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
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