You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
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YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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