so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize