I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
