He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
