Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
