New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
