White coat. Heels.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
why is half of my head shaved?
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