Can i not drive my cunt home
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
