she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
