You're completely useless in the revolution.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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