My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
