Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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