My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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