Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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