Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize