don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
