come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
