We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
