You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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