guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
