I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
