And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
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this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
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OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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