Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
