I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
