Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
