We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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