Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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