I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Please, let me fuck your mom
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
