I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
