I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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