better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
