The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
