i can't believe i had my finger in that
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.