I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
