Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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