Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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