the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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