she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize